:: En el mes de agosto, bizi y especial ::

August is a busy month for me. Not only the athletes in Olympic are busy... but i am busy with Weddinglympic ok! Can i say this....weddinglympic?!! Muahahaha My job as a ’wedding planner’ for the wedding gifts preparation quite a challenge task thou.. It was a hard work, but i didn’t mind doing it again and again. Anyway, alhamdulillah Muazzam’s cousin seemed to love the result so much! Cantik siot...hahahahaha aku sendiri angkat bakul. The theme color was brown, always my fav color. On top of that, I have wedding invitation 3 weeks in row, o myyy.... 2 attended, 1 more to go this weekend. And then we will be heading up to Malacca to celebrate Muazzam’s cousin whom will be departed for Spain after Hari Raya. Tengo la camisa negra hoy mi amor esta de luto, hoy tengo en el alma uno pena....y es por culpa de tu embrujo... yeehahahahaha don’t get headache thou, it is just a spanish song lyric belongs to spanish singer, JUANES. I love his songs and his macho look of course... and that's why a lot of spanish words in my blogging this time! Es una locura!

Zafran? He seems OK with all those travelling things. Memang menurun habis perangai aku, suka berjalan. While blogging this, he is perching on the yellow pillow. So cute! I see Zafran a big boy now. It is such a miracle watching him grow by my two eyes and seeing all the changes he goes through day by day. Alhamdulillah, Thank you ALLAH. Right now, i am trying to do ’family-bonding things’ with him. Now, he’s laughing at me. And i laughed back at him...(i didn’t know the root cause of the laughing)

Back to travelling things, well.. travelling is always something i love to do, but i couldn’t stand a stack high dirty laundry after coming back from the travel. How i wish i could have cyborgs to do all those house work, instead of my own two magic hands! Expecto patronummm...wooishhhhhhhh......

Besides the busy month, August is also a special month for me. Actually today is my father’s birthday. I started to remember a lot of things about him. I remember one day i went to his house and wished him happy birthday. Then suddenly he asked me back with his puzzled face ”hari ni berapa haribulan? Hari jadi abah ke hari ni?” Just imagine he didn’t remember his own birthday! At this moment i really miss him so much...Hanya ALLAH saja yang tahu betapa aku rindu pada abah. Happy Birthday abah!. Last time i always asked him ”Abah nak apa hadiah birthday?” And now, no need to ask him anymore....Al Fatihah hadiah untuk abah... orang akan hadiahkan sebanyak mungkin Al Fatihah untuk abah... same goes to mak...

And then yesterday was my brother’s birthday. He has something in common with my abah, his voice over the phone sounds so exactly like abah. Sometimes i just feel like dialing him, just to hear his voice. At least rindu terhadap abah terubat bila dengar suara dia. Happy Birthday Bro! Semoga dimurahkan rezeki oleh ALLAH SWT.

Another special day will be on 31st of August. Qué tiene de especial el 31 de agosto? because it is our Merdeka Day. Merdeka!!! Dah 51 tahun kita merdeka, Alhamdulillah... Thank you ALLAH.

(En el mes de agosto, bizi y especial -- In the month of august, busy and special!) The rest, you can find the meaning in free online spanish dictionary......by yourself! ahak..

:: 365 Days With You, 3285 Days With You ::

I just can’t believe it! Three hundred and sixty five days I have him in my life… phewwww….time really flies and he makes each day count! Really count dude.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR… I love you boy!

I was sipping a cup of milo while my eyes at the tv screen as usual and Zafran…he was playing with ‘mega bloks’. Then I joined him. I built a house, he destroyed. I built again, he destroyed again. Then I built again, he destroyed again with glee. Amboiiiiii…..banyak cantekkk! Ok, enough, mommy is tired! He just grinned away as if he understood what I have babbled. A minute later, he tapped me on the arm, he stared me in the eyes, I was really mesmerised by his innocence look. Knowing it would be no more ‘mega bloks’ builder, he suddenly cried. Apa lagi nak susu la tu!

365 days with you baby…. I see pure love, I see blossoming and growing, I see you laughing and smiling, which is like an endless happy time. No more loneliness, no more sadness, no more pain, no more outing with friends (boleh gitu?nyelit tiba2). Just kidding! Mommy is willingly to sacrifice anything... as long as --- I GOT YOU BABE!

Ahaa…I did calculate something roughly – three hundred sixty five days times with 9 years, equal to…. O myyy… it’s unbelievable! THREE THOUSAND TWO HUNDRED AND EIGHTY FIVE DAYS I have been together with my ‘tough-looking man’ …phewwww… how I realized that life has really speeded up, and it’s turning me all into a ‘grow up’ person. (Apa baru sedarkah aku?!)


3285 days with you honey…. It was beautiful days. I feel blessed every single day! (By the way the word ‘tough-looking man’, don’t get too much thinking on it! Hahahahaha)

:: Spice, Orange and Vanilla ::

I am so excited because Zafran is going to be 1 year old next month. Alhamdulillah…thank you ALLAH for giving me a chance to take care of this precious 'gift'. He is now standing against the couch, holding onto furniture and sometimes he’s tottering. Actually he has mastered standing solo, sometimes he’s stooping and looks like he’s slowly leaving his babyhood behind. He’s not yet walking well, I think he’s trying to gain confidence and balance. He also knows how to bounce himself whenever he is on the bed. It’s really kinda miracle experience when I have to watch by myself, the steps, the movements.. how it develops...wow...

At this point, he is also speaking a foreign language. I love when he said ‘ahbuhji’ (father),’buweyo’ (what?!),’bwah’(why?! i guess) repeatedly…didn’t he speak Korean?? Since that he is at receptive stage, I try to teach him how to say ‘uhmuhni’ (mother). Baru la fair and square kan! Muazzam said Zafran speaks Korean because there is 'somebody' at home 'psyhco' with Korean Drama. I know who is that 'somebody'!

Life is so much happiness when I hear his voice reverberates in my house. Andddd...life is so much 'happiness' when he started to rummage everything in front of him without hesitant. I am very fascinated, indeed (ikhlas aku cakap!)

When i see Zafran, all my some unhappiness past turned off, the time when i was feeling frazzled, suddenly i become so energetic, so fresh when he smiles at me. He really spices up my day, colors my life with orange and splashes my world with vanilla scent! What a perfect mixture i have!

:: Yesterday ::

Seems like it was yesterday when i saw his calm face,

Seems like it was yesterday when i saw his smile,

Seems like it was yesterday when i felt his touch,

Seems like it was yesterday when i touched his hand,

Seems like it was yesterday when i heard his voice,

Yesterday.... he gave me joy,

Yesterday.... he gave me hope,

Yesterday.... he gave me loves,

Yesterday....he left me forever and

Today.... i can still feel the loves, every second in my life, i feel it...and

Today....he lives on in my heart and mind...

Abah, i really miss you....

15 June means a lot to anyone with a name - FATHER, to those who has a father....think of celebration? Well, of course...that was what i used to be. Yesterday i saw a blue shirt hanging in my closet, that blue shirt belong to my father, it was there in pristine condition. He loved that shirt so much. I remembered one day he wore it, he was beaming, then he asked me "How do i look?" then i always answered "Abah macam Datuk, macam Tan Sri". After that, I almost weeping, collapsed in tears when the memories kept on jabbing my mind. Ya Allah....please give me strength.

Happy Father's Day to all fathers in the world. Without you, we all nothing!

Al Fatihah untuk Abah dan Mak

:: Impeccable Diet ::

I was having a debate with Muazzam last weekend about diet. Together with us, of course Mr. Iman Mishary Zafran. I guess he's just being never ending frowned judges. Firstly we went to drive thru McD to get some munchies (some munchies?!! I wonder we call McD Mega Mac some munchies!! hahaha) Actually we didn't take our lunch yet....(uwhhh..alright, whateva)

I have ordered Spicy Chicken McDeluxe well Muazzam with his LE Mega Mac. I can sniffed out his yummilicious, scrumptious Mega Mac when he opened up the box but i pretended like i did not have binge on it at all. Inside... i was screaming like hell..at least he offered me a bite! And then... he offered me 'You wanna have a bite?' Offer came right after he wolfed down almost all of it. He left me a little tiny piece of that Limited Edition Mega Mac!! Well...tragically, i ate it.

Ok, back to the topic on diet, i just 'brained out' the theories that i browsed from the books, internet, mags about diet, how to curb our cravings, how to control our eating binge bla..bla..bla.. i have read a lot about it but i remember only some of it. For example to make sure you get good shape; eat before 7pm, some experts says don't eat after midnight, some says we should empty our stomach after 10pm and bla bla bla... Well, different experts different theories. As life speeds up, the craving is speeding even faster! Look at the foods now, Ooo myy... even donuts..they commercialized it and come with tasty topping until i got drooling!

Enough ramblings on diet theories plus Muazzam's theories some more...the he came out with one beautiful concept of diet, exquisite.... He told me "We can eat/drink anytime we want, moslem diet should take this as a guide

Firman Allah;

Makan dan minumlah, tapi jangan berlebihan (Surah Al Araf: 31) then he added

Sabda Nabi Muhammad SAW;

Makan ketika lapar, berhenti sebelum kenyang

If we follow this, InsyaALLAH we are going to be ok! Why not we follow this? Why we need to memorize and follow all that kapir punya diet!!"

Bingo! He is absolutely 100% right and i just got a 'twinge' on my head and face when i heard that. I have to admit i have slipped my mind about this beautiful diet, how could i! Ya ALLAH ampunilah hambaMu yang hina ini....

I would like to end my writings with these beautiful words below;

Sabda Rasulullah SAW, maksudnya;

Tidak ada tempat yang lebih buruk jika ia dipenuhi oleh anak Adam, iaitu perutnya. Cukuplah makan beberapa suap sahaja untuk menegakkan (menguatkan) tulang rusuknya. Walau bagaimanapun jika ingin makan banyak juga, janganlah melebihi, iaitu cukuplah dengan mengisi perut, sepertiga untuk makanan, sepertiga untuk air dan sepertiga lagi untuk nafas (udara)" (Riwayat Ahmad dan At Tirmizi)

:: The Burgeoning Of Mother's Love ::

Mother’s Day is just around the corner… this weekend. When I was at yahoo page, the ads on Mother’s Day were there. When I switched on tv, the ads were there too, it coloured the tv screen. With bouquet of pink roses, boxes of gift….. I just stared at those ads…with my eyes watered. And when I turned on the radio, I heard a song by Boyz 2 Men – Mama. Again my tears dropped.

Last weekend my mother in law came to my house. I gave her a set of tupperware as mother’s day gift. Although the special day will be on May 11, I don't want to wait, no more waiting, I really learnt a lot from the past.

I read back my previous post - HAPPY MOTHER’S AND FATHER’S DAY. I cried like a baby. When I wrote that, I still have my parents. Then I let myself diving into the sea, searching for treasures called MEMORIES. As a prevalence, I will always wish my mother over the phone. Then I will take her out for lunch or dinner and not to forget, get her a gift. How can I forget those sweet things….

I still remember one day when I was so stubborn and angry if my mother said NO to my request, then my mother said, “Please listen to me, this is for your own good. One day if you have children then you know how I feel, why i do this and that, you will know...”

And I still remember one day when I was slothful to help her to do housework, let my bedroom cluttered, then my mother will definitely nagging at me and i will definitely putting my long face and sitting over the couch and pretending like nothing happen. That was used to be my not so good things, and now those not so good thing becomes sweet thing, in fact that was the sweetest things ever happened in my life, i miss all those things mak...I miss your voice telling me not to do this and that, I miss your voice giving me advises.....

Now I know how my mother feels….indeed! I am a mother now. Even Zafran is still a baby, I can feel how uneasy being a mother….I can feel the sacrifices that my mom had made just to make sure we have a good life. I know you did the best for us! Until now i can't find someone or something that can replace your love, your touch....i can't mak...

The burgeoning of mother's love is boundless. It will keep on growing rapidly, unbounded. A mother - is the epitome of great love. I would like to wish HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL THE MOTHERS OUT THERE including myself!

Without you

I won't be able to see the world

Without you

I won't be able to step on the earth

Without you

I won't be able to see the star, the sun and the moon

Without you

I won't be what i am now

Without you

I won't be here to let out my feelings

It is all because of you!

AL FATIHAH untuk mak n abah.

:: Escapology Is Useless, Escapologist Is Meaningless ::

A friend of mine had passed away early this month. She had suffered with cancer. I was speechless the moment i got sms from my ex colleague telling me "Kak Rai had passed away, al fatihah". Again i was feeling like my head stubbed into something big..so hard... and it hurts.

Feeling a little bit spacey about this, maybe i was just carried away with the past where i lost my beloved parents. Actually myself is still not yet fully recovered. But again i would like to remind myself, it was a test for me, a huge test and i have to be strong. He knows that i can face it. ALLAHuakbar...

Life is like that... life is like waves... the happiness, the sadness, it comes in a second and it goes in a second too. Today we are so happy for what we have, then we go to sleep as usual, then we wake up, open up our eyes slowly and then the only thing we realize, the happiness is no longer with us, it was replaced with the sadness. The process will keep on circling, then the sadness... replaced by the happiness... it is a fair process...indeed! SubhanALLAH...

When i looked at my closet, my eyes was glued to an exquisite brown batik which i bought from Kak Rai. Then automatically my mind picturing her face. She was a nice person, rich sense of humour and friendly. I still remember how busy we were with our direct selling business. Although the business didn't work, now something popped up my mind.... at least i have memories with her. I remembered she went to my house, we were chatting, laughing... and now she's gone.....

As human being, our permanent destination will be the same. We will go to one place, eternal place, where we will be there eternally. Everyone of us! No one can't run or escape, although we have escapology or even being escapologist, it can't help us. So, let's not waste the 'little' time we have, fully utilize it with good things, doing noble things!

AL FATIHAH untuk Arwah Kak Rai.

:: Unstoppable Sorrow, Unimaginable Feeling ::

When i am blogging, Zafran is busy 'working'. He is always busy, more than a businessman, more than a Prime Minister. Well...keep up a good work Zafran, momma's dirty clothes are still 'unwashed', some dirty dishes in the sink, floor 'unmopping'.... Zafran helps momma la sayang... momma has other job to do la baby, is pretty sedentary (blogging, surfing!) muahahahaha

Today is our Prophet Muhamad Birthday, SALAM MAULIDUR RASUL to all of you out there. I remember my dad who was always busy when the reach of Maulidur Rasul. He joined the parade, he wore nice suit baju melayu together with the sampin. I imagined his smiley face now....

Is uneasy being in certain situation where forced us to make decision, but is easy to say anything we want when we are not in that situation. Practically, we always fail. Fail to stick to what we have decided on something. I am just a human being, weak, imperfect, sometimes make impetuously decision, action and sometimes the emotion did control my mind!

Don't be sad, La Tahzan... i remember the book told me not to be sad, stop living in a sorrow, stop being physically and mentally weak. But sometimes we failed to control our mind. We get surrounded by the emotions. When everything is out of control, how difficult our life has become. So i chose not to be in that group of people. At the beginning, my mind resisted. But now, Alhamdulillah, the 'muddled' feeling slowly goes away. Thank you ALLAH for helping me...

:: If Only I Knew, I Wouldn't Have To Wait ::

‘My life is so like Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt!’ A perfect answer describing how busy I was, when being asked by my cousin on ‘how is life being a mother?’ ‘Unfortunately my bank account is not like them, that’s the difference’, myself added jokingly. The truth is I am so happy for the newborn baby, it made my life so completely just like heaven. For eight years I have been waiting for the miracle to happen into my life and finally it happened for real! Everybody around me was so happy especially my parents. I know they’ve been praying for me day and night. Deep inside my heart right now, of course I want million pages to tell everybody ‘Hello…I am the happiest person in the world!’ Like how Jack Dawson screams in the Titanic ‘I am a king of the worlddd…’ when he got into that luxurious ship. Or I wish I could be like Celine Dion, singing a song to describe how happy she was, the moment she got her little precious. Well…different people, different style of way to express their feelings.

Year 2007 promises a total happiness to me! That was what I have predicted earlier. But my prediction was twisted and then I was just realised I was not born to be a clairvoyant. In my journey to achieve the goal, I have been through a lot of things which taught me to be more matured in facing challenges next. I know, things that happen in our life, happens for a reason. Only God knows what’s the best for His creature. Who am I to question, why is that? why is this?

I was a secretary before and I really love my job so much. Sometimes when we have to let go of something that we love, for something that we love more, it’s totally worth it! After quitting my job, I have undergone several process of treatment to conceive. Actually that was my intention why I have to sacrifice my job. In between, I become a housewife of leisure. While my husband at work, I went out with my parents almost ‘twenty four seven’. Accompanied them to the hospital, to the bank, shopping together, sometimes it was just for something simple like buying durians, meeting their friends and not to forget – chatting with them over the telephone plus handphone. Especially my father, he was quite an active person in some political works and indirectly I became his secretary. Did some typing work for him, checked his writing and prepared his speech. That was not including when I was being asked to give an idea by them on what to wear for lunch or dinner invitation, O my god, I never thought I was that busy! Secretary-cum-stylist, not bad huh?!

During my first trimester of pregnancy, I had terrible morning sickness. I lacked of energy to do the housework, automatically I became ‘inactive’ person. All my ‘activities’ with my parents before, was immediately stopped. I was allergic to certain foods. There go my parents played their roles. Asking me what I wanted to eat, what I want the food to be cooked like, for almost everyday. Not forgetting my husband, he also did his part of being a good husband though! Curious about the morning sickness, one day I asked my mom how long the ‘sickness’ will take? My mom said ‘Last time when I was pregnant for you, it took until almost third trimester’. What?!! Third trimester? Meaning that I still have six months to go? My eyes and mouth was gaping when I heard that answer. Meanwhile, at positive side, I have thought ‘Oh maybe this is how my mom feels when she was having me! Now I feel it for myself’. It was so tougher than I thought it would be. Some people said, you never know until you are into it. I do agree with that phrase three hundred percent! Now I really, really deeply comprehend why a mother willing to do anything for the sake of their children.

May came knocking my door, I was in a second trimester and yet I still a ‘drunken master’. I threw out everthing I ate. My mom said something nice when I started babbling, ‘It’s normal for pregnant lady, just be patient and be strong. This is what you’ve been waiting for right? Well just enjoy it’. And I hold on tight to that magic words.

On May 3rd, my dad dropped by my house to send some beef gravies. I still remembered how the gravies stimulating my appetite and I ate a lot until it ended to the washroom. I remembered he gave me such a very sweet smile and drove away. And…that was the last smile for me. I never thought it would be the last…not a million! He had passed away on May 4th. Hardly to believe I lost him so sudden. Yesterday he had grinned at me, talked to me and today I can’t see the smile, I can’t hear the voice anymore. ‘This is not real!’ I whispered to myself as my heart was pounding fast.

Teardrops rolling down on my face like a waterfall. My heart dropped when I think about my baby who didn’t have chance to know his grandfather. My mom hugged me and murmured ‘Don’t be sad, you got something more valuable that you need to take care of at this moment. Be patient and be strong, at least you still have me’. Her eyes watered by tears when she said that as she touched my stomach softly. When I look at her cheerless, pale face, I promised to myself that I will take care of her, take her to stay with me and try my best to cheer up her life. I know it’s not easy to console someone who had just lost her loved one. Just imagine, she has been with my dad for thirty seven years.

Everyday I keep on thinking of the sweet memories that left behind while I was accompanied my mom in the mourning. We were laughing together when I started to memorize every single funny things my dad had done. Sometimes we were crying together when we started longing for him. I remembered a week before he passed away, he bought me a giant watermelon. And then I told him no need to buy one big size like that, two slices would be enough for me. ‘It is not for you, it is for your baby’ he replied jokingly with a smile. God! I miss him so much. I miss everything about him especially his smiley face.

I thought my tears should have slowly ebb thereafter. A month later, on June 4th, out of the blue, my mom had followed my dad. I was stunned. It was really unimaginable situation for me that time. At first, I did not want to believe that I lost both of them at one time, maybe I was in the some kind of drama or what?! Can’t wait to hear the director say ‘cut’, and the shooting is over then I have them back in my life. I was hoping that somebody will come to me and yelled at me ‘Wake up, it’s just a dream…’ Apparently, neither was a drama nor a dream, on July 16th when I opened up my eyes at the hospital after giving birth to my son, they were not by my side….then only I know, I have to face the fact that I had lost them forever. Tears in my heart when I look at my son was sleeping tight in my mother in law’s arm.

Losing my parents by sudden had caused a big impact to me. I shed bucket of tears day and night at the beginning week of my confinement. Underneath that I was thinking, no matter If I cry a river, nothing could bring them back. Life must go on and I have to move on. Actually there were many things I have planned ahead once I got pregnant. Having my parents in my house playing with my baby, walking by the beach where my dad busy pushing the pram, shopping baby’s stuff together, learning on how to care of the baby from them….actually a lot, there were still a lot of things I wanted to do with them which I didn’t have chance to make it. That’s it, we plan something, but God decides on everything.

As time goes by, one day, I was staring through the opened window, I remembered about the mother’s and father’s day gift that I have supposed to buy for them. A handbag for my mom and a perfume for my dad. These two things they loved the most. Since Mother’s Day falls in May, everything I had planned for this big day was hindered because we were still in the blue for my dad that time. Thinking back, why I have to wait for that specific date? If only I knew they would leave me forever, I wouldn’t have to wait until the day comes. I should have just given the gift in advance, so that they can enjoyed it. After what had happened, it really taught me a lesson. Never wait until tomorrow, because we don’t know how much time left for us and we don’t know for how long we can enjoy the smile, the voice and the face of the person that we love again. Nothing else we would do, if tomorrow never comes…. AL FATIHAH

:: The Chosen One ::

Zafran was staring at me with his limpid eyes while I was busy mopping the floor. I couldn’t help to see him like that. So I stopped mopping (for 2 hours!) which I thought it would be just for minutes, then I grabbed him and gave him million kisses until he got ‘fed up’, (yelled out loud right to my face!) Padan muka aku, seorang mama yang tak reti bahase! I put him back on the comforter and continue my job as a cleaner....

By sudden, my mind was tangoing to the past. I remembered the two faces that I longer for so much. I wish they were here to see how busy I was with the baby. Mak, Abah…I wish you both were here playing with Zafran. That was what we have been waiting for ages right?

The calm faces that suddenly gone, the voices that suddenly mute, the touch that suddenly dissappear....and suddenly everything is gone without a message. It had been fated. I was chosen by Him to face the challenges and there is only one thing I know why. Why? Because He loves me….

Looking back, there were tanks sweet memories left for me. And yet, it was still not enough. I wish I can live in the place where the time stand still, so that I can enjoy the face…the voice…the touch that I love the most with no limit. Can i?

At this moment, I still can’t forget every single thing about my parents. It comes and goes every second. I really miss them...really. When i look at Zafran, then i realized, time really flies. He's growing up and yet i realized it has been 8 months abah and mak had passed away. AL FATIHAH.

:: Happy Maal Hijrah 1429H ::

Happy Maal Hijrah!

Oww.. don't gimme that look, I know it's late. The most important is, i wish. New resolution? Muazzam said "to fulfill last, last, last year resolution that have never been resolved. Sometimes i asked myself, how important having a resolution in our life? What is your resolution in conjunction of new year? Always being asked by the same question every year, isn't that boring? But my resolution in conjunction of this Maal Hijrah - to focus on Zafran. It's all about him now.

:: The Guy ::

It’s quite some time I don’t write. There were so many things had happened in my life recently. Well…that’s life. I have to accept for what is fated to me. It’s like you are receiving a courier delivery. As a receiver, you sign and take it. No matter how big, how small the package is... Things that happens, happened for a reason. Poignant story about my life in the previous months, later…

You wanna hear the real me now? Aha… On the mark, get set, gooo…pow!!@#!!(Sound of gun shot)

My life is busy latterly. It’s just like everyday I am on the marathon track. I feel like my left foot at north and my right foot at south….That is not including my hands…where are they? Mmmm….we have north, south…so I guess you can make wise guess where they are though!

Iman Mishary Zafran… That’s the guy. The name of the guy who makes my each day count. The guy who makes my feet flying to the north and south. The guy who makes my hands twisting to the west and east. The guy who gives such a massive happiness into my world. The guy who makes every space in my home turned to be an uproarious party. The guy who makes my head is so densely covered with future planning. I remembered last time I can sit on the couch having my leg jiggling + ‘cramp’ brain relaxing + watching dvds + napping (sleeping is the best word I guess Z z z z z z) + bla..bla..bla.. And now, the moment of truth, I got no time for that (Seriously?!! Are you kidding me? Shoott...but i wonder i got time for THE LAKE HOUSE, 15 times babe!).

The guy who makes my life completely busy (and my face looks messy). But i love it, love it baby! (Ikhlas aku cakap ni, hehehe)

Welcome to the world my son! Love you...

:: Don't Let The Past Hold You Back ::

No doubt sometimes the past always haunting us back. It's like a scar on your skin, the more you see it, the more you get hurt. Nobody wants to get hurt, but as long as you live, you definitely cannot run away from getting hurt. That we call 'cycle of life'. Mmmm...well...a lot of things had happened in my life. But i always pick only the sweet things to cherish. I pick not to let the past hold me back, especially the not so good things. Past is past. Let bygone be gone with the wind.

Life is full with options. Whether to be happy or sad, it's up to you to decide. And i choose to be happy the whole day, all the way, the rest of my life....

Bad memories are hurt. Sometimes we become revengeful person just because of the past. Revenge? Until when? For how long? Would revenge makes you satisfy? Would that take you to 'heaven'? What i see, it won't take you anywhere.... For me no matter how bad the past were, there would be no 'perfect' reason for you to feel sad TODAY. The past is history, TODAY is reality. Do you choose to live in history or reality? If you choose HISTORY, I welcome you to the blockhead globe! History is something you should learn from, not to live in it.

We no need to be a clairvoyant just to predict what would we get tomorrow, always wanting something good in our life, but the fact is we don't totally have no idea what would we be getting in the future. Think about TODAY, what we have TODAY and learn to appreciate it. Today, the happiness is already in our palm, we have succeeded in so many things in our life, suddenly the mind twist to the past and THE PAST kills everything. Do you think is unfair for you?

'La Tahzan' or Don't Be Sad written by Dr. Aidh Bin Abdullah Al Qarni. Muazzam bought that beautiful book last saturday. As usual, i have not yet finished reading the book, but when i read the first chapter, only the first chap, something have come into my senses, which all this while i did not realize at all. There is one page in that book, it explains why we should not hold to the past. I am not a skillful commentator (never will) for such an exquisite book like that. Pesanan: Beli dan Bacalah sendiriu! Kehkehkehkeh

::Out from UWEK zone::

Welcome 2007 (I know i was a 'bitttttttt....' late to wish this) But 'gasaklah', who cares anyway !! Alhamdulillah, i am slowly out from the UWEK zone. Just wanna share, how great being in that zone, something that you cannot explain by words unless you experience it yourself. (Sesungguhnya i am speaking from the very deeppp bottom of my heart! Boleh percaya ka?) Hehehehehe........

I still cannot stare at the computer screen for hours like i used to be. Now i can feel the 'ala-ala pening sengal' coming already! Like always you see when you are watching tv drama series >>>

TO BE CONTINUED....

:: My baby...You ::

:: 13 December 2007 :: The date that confirmed I am pregnant. 7 Weeks. Syukur Alhamdulillah...wowow! And until now i couldn't find the best word to describe my feeling right now. Hanya ALLAH SWT saja yang tahu. I got morning sickness and sometimes afternoon, evening sickness. Sabar aje.... You can see the babies pics are not well arranged kan, it shows how 'sickness' i am, but nottt crazy arrr. Kekekekekekekekke.. Ok got to go now, my head is spinning around!

:: The Wedding Planner ::

Idea...idea...idea...please.... Last week i've got a call from my cousin in Kuching. She will be getting married next year probably in March. She wants me to help her on designing the goodies to give away to vip guests on that day. Ehem..of course i am in the list...i mean the vip guest list! I need a compact, perfect design for this, but i just couldn't think right now. But all i can think now.... i started to become like Mary Fiore in The Wedding Planner, the most prestigious wedding planner in San Francisco. (Perasan siot...) The different between me and Mary Fiore are :

1) I have found a love life of my own unlike her, she is damn busy until she couldn't find her love life.

2) I never think of something lucrative unlike her, that is her job...

3) MARY FIORE IS JENNIFER LOPEZ the beautiful specimen of humanity unlike me.... mmmm..... kuih lopeh (you don't just cushy nodding your head, agree ok... aku pelangkung pale tu nanti!)

Eeeeeee....Idea...idea....please idea....

Mmmm...my FIRST TIME

Wahhhhhh look at that....isn't that painting beautiful...?! wakakakakakakakka...Shut up for those who doesn't know how to appreciate A R T. Hehehehehehehehe... Kamsa hamnida (Thank You) for those who really likes that painting and I LOVE YOU SO SO MUCH. Look at the 'girl', i mean the girl standing next to that exquisite painting, so 'eksyen', cekak pinggang lagi. You know who is she? She is an ARTIST, but not a famous amos singer, a dancer or an actress. She is just a 'sengal' artist who knows how to doodle things on the canvas cloth. Hey, don't smirking at me!! Aku tampo kang...

I named my painting 'FIRST TIME' because that was my first time doing such thing on canvas. It looks smudgy, ,don't you think so? But i think that we call ART. Everybody can be an artist, as long as they know how to draw. Even they just splash a can of paint on the canvas just like that...it can be considered a masterpiece has been churned out. <<< style="font-weight: bold;">My message : Use your right and left brain to find the meaning on that abstract, just use your own judgement. Ok la... SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI, MAAF ZAHIR BATIN

What is with RICH?

Ehem...ehem...today the tv program seems quite boring. I just like go deaf and mute. Plan to clean up the kitchen but can i do it later? Yes...you can (i heard voices answered that question for me). Suddenly i think about my old books and maganizes which 'steep in marinade' at the book shelves. I remember about the book which i bought last month EAT TO BEAT. It's all about what to eat to beat diseases. At the begining i was about to read that book, there are still unfinished topics that i need to cover.... but then i feel so 'malas' la today (am i that 'rajin' before??).

Time to day dreaming again. Hey..there are a lot of things i can achieve by that you know. Dream about being a rich people.....maybe like Bill Gates, the richest man in the worldddd.....he owns about 52.8 billion dollars, i wonder...if i work now, for how many years that amount will cover my salary?? I have read somewhere on the internet, that amount can pay Bush's salary for 132,000 years!! That was Bush okkkkkk..... And I have heard that Bill Gates would prefer not to be rich man (it sounds pathetic to me!). Wohh...that maybe words from someone who is already being declared as the richest man on the planet! Then i started to realize, that we call LIFE, where rich people doesn't care about being rich whereas people like me care so much how to have million dollars in the bank account (rob a Swiss Bank maybe!) hehehehehehe....

I guess maybe Bill Gates is one of good example of brilliant. But in Malaysia, I would like to take Tan Sri Syed Mokhtar Al Bukhary as the perfect epitome of brilliant (for me). People rarely talk about him and we hardly see him in the newpapers (except once he was caught in the business column), television and so on but he is one of the richest man in Malaysia. I first read about him from the limited edition magazine - Tycoon. Wow...he is so humble, generous, worldly-wise person and .....of course RICH. From there, i browse more about him from the internet, i just get more impetus to become a positive person when i read about the way he pursues success until he becomes what he is now.

Well...actually the word 'rich' is the same with the word 'beautiful'. Some people says 'beautiful' is subjective. I think 'rich' also can be categorized in that phrase too. For example; rich of loves, rich of smiles, rich of kids, rich of kindness, rich of peacefulness, rich of ostrich (can arr...?) and bla, bla, bla, bla..... I realize, I have all that 'rich' except for kids and ostrich, what else i want? I am happy for what i am now....i just suka berangan, tak salah kan? Ok la malas nak membebel lebih-lebih. SELAMAT BERPUASA KEPADA MUSLIMIN DAN MUSLIMAT SEMUA....

Desktop Housewife a.k.a Desperate Buddy

Last saturday i was overexcited with my birthday celebration with my friends. You know being a housewife after 10 years working, had made me totally insane! It's not that i am over qualified to be one of the nominees for the Hospital Tanjung Rambutan...but there's a 'bizarre mental awareness' coming out from myself when my friends said "Oi, kita keluar nak?". I feel like.... "Ok, Ok bila nak keluar, aku on aje! Bila tu bagitau aku? Aku on aje" (<Do i sound like crazy desperate people on earth? Jawabla kalau berani, jawab aku kata!!!!) You know la...last time we were seeing each other everyday, we were laughing for the stupid jokes we made everyday, we were having lunch everyday and suddenly one day all that sweet things were gone. Instead of being desktop housewife, i am a desperate buddy now...

Ok this time, we were having lunch at the Coffee Street. That was my first time there, according to SPL, the food served there was tasteful. Yes! you were right, SPL! I ordered Mee Goreng Mamak. This question is for myself>>> "Don't you have anything else in this whole world to order???" LM ordered Toast Bread with honey with banana, SPL with her Nasi Goreng Cendawan and Zalina ordered Nasi Goreng Udang. Semua sedap!! Oo..i forget to tell you about the gifts that i have received from all my dearest friends. Mmmm...feeling like when i was in kindergarten school, so happy with the gifts when i opened it. I've got a Nike bag from SPL, Bed set from Lady Marmalade and 1 piece of bath towel with Happy Birthday embroidery. That was so nice and sweeeeettttttttt like me...kikikikikikikikikiki...

We dropped by at LM's house to perform our Asar and Maghrib. After that we went to Giant Hypermarket, Zalina misses that place so much, i think without Giant, she would get abnormal high body temperature. I can see her spherical eyes when she was in there. SPL didn't join us, you know laa...with kids and husband at home waiting for her, how could she ignore that? Unlike me, for this two weeks Muazzam will be very busy with the plant shutdown. So he will be home late but i have confused one thing on that day when i went home, he's already on the bed...dreaming, i guess. Now you tell me who was late??

How you can be more interesting

I feel like want to eat anything i want today, don't care about the diet, shoooottt forget it! I feel like wish to go anywhere i wish to go, huh..care about the money, shoottttt how could i forget that i am not Trump or Hilton heiress. Fuhh... hope that i could fly to Korea, one of my dream place. Maybe Superman can take me there.... if only Superman exist and if only he would consider me as Lois Lane. Today i am just feeling so happy. Muazzam bought me a book - HOW YOU CAN BE MORE INTERESTING by Edward de Bono. First page...wow it's cool where the writer says something...mmmm it really flicks my mind thou!

"A BEAUTIFUL FACE WITH A BORING MIND, IS BORING, BORING, BORING

A BEAUTIFUL BODY WITH A BORING MIND, IS BORING, BORING, BORING

A FIT AND HEALTHY BODY WITH A BORING MIND, IS BORING, BORING, BORING

A CLEVER MIND CAN ALSO BE BORING, BORING, BORING"

Wohhh....i do hope that i am not hooked to one of this foreword. It's really sick being a boring person huh?! Yet i was thinking am i an interesting person? Mmmm...let me finish this book first then i know where i stand. I guess a boring person always thinks people around his/her is boring too. And i guess if we don't want to be called a boring person then... JANGAN BUAT MUKA BOSAN, SO TAKDE LA ORANG PUN BOSAN TENGOK KITA!

Anyway i am so happy today because today is myyyyyyyyyyyy birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME... HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME.... come on sing together....