:: Muse - Unintended ::

:: It Will Happen When It Happens ::

Assalamualaikum

We are in the year 2020, yes..we are. I remember back then when I was 16, I have imagined myself in the year 2020. First thing I imagined, that I was married to someone I love so much of course (gatal kan! Macam takde benda lain ko nak imagine Hahaha). Have kids, live in a beautiful house, etc.. bingo! Time really flies dowhh... and I am not getting younger dowh of course!

Now, I am in the year 2020, well a lot of things have changed and that's for sure. As time passed, the more I experienced, the more thankful I became. Alhamdulillah, I am happy with the journey I am traveled so far. 

Life is a journey, long journey and it will end one day! Definitely. No matter how tired we are after a very long walk, we spent years exploring life, we made mistakes, we chose the wrong junction, we reversed and met the crossroads, we confused, we moved on until we found the right point and we walked and walked...  but one day the steps will stop. But my writings won't stop yo.. ok let's continue down here yo;

Throughout the journey, we meet many things. Things that make us happy, things that make us sad, many. But always put this in mind, happiness is a gift, sadness is a gift, suffering is a gift, all you have is a gift. A gift from ALLAH swt. Always remember, this world is not the place for you to get whatever you want. I will always say this to my babies. Iman Mishary Zafran, Lydia Arissa & Eijaz Luqman mama will always pray for you.

A couple of days ago, I carried a lot of anger in my heart from something I hate to say.  I hope I can get this some kind of liberation from the anger, pain and hurt. Eeeee eeee eeeee.. see, I am still angry. I don't wanna do something maudlin rambling here. So, calm down babe, this is a test and this is also a gift from Him. Ya ALLAH, Ya Sobur, give me more sabr please! I try to say this to myself, don't worry so much about something that makes you worry so much. It will happen when it happens and it's over till it's over. It is all in ALLAH's timing. So don't worry too much because ALLAH knows best what is best for you. HE is the knower of all things.

My vision this year is to recite more Al Quran. Can't wait for Ramadhan. I don't know when my journey gonna end and hopefully, it will end up with husnul khotimah. Aamiin Ya Mujib. 

:: Beautiful Journey ::

Assalamualaikum

I just came back from Jeddah on Jan 19 this year. I have performed my umrah with my beloved husband and precious babies. It was the best moment of my life ever! My chronology of the journey; arrived Madinah Al Munawarrah on the 7th and from Madinah to Makkah Al Mukarramah on the 12th. It was like a dream, a beautiful dream... and I want to be in that dream again and I don't want to open my eyes just to see all is gone! And I forgot something...it is not gone actually. It is all chiseled boldly in my mind and embedded in the heart firmly until now. Ya Allah, thank you so much for calling out my name to be Your guest, alhamdulillah. Call me again, please Ya Allah...

I did not expect that my beautiful journey to both cities that never sleep turned out to be real. Thank you, my baby, for the beautiful gift also. May Allah repay all your kindness to us, aaminn. I just wanna tell you something that my world is so big, even bigger when I have you in it. Then my love is so strong, even stronger when our love is united.

When I was in Madinah and Mekah, I have learned so many things valuable and not to forget to see some miracle things that happened in front of my eyes. I will keep it to myself, safely locked in my heart. To see Kaabah in real, it was the best moment in my life, the feeling that I had that time ...unspeakable! Bismillahi Allahuakbar ...

Ya Allah, thank you for making all easy for me during my journey to feel Your love. Alhamdulillah

:: Funny ::

Assalamualaikum

Hello! Mmm...I am still lachrymose over the last paragraph of my writing on Dec 9, 2017. I will always pray you BaitulMaqdis, Palestinians.

I am going to write about funny things happened in my life. A lot. But I will pick one of them, which scored to my heart and mind up till now. The top funny story I guess, I update my blog once a year. I almost forget how to write, where to start and I am sitting on my chair, staring at my flowery stapler! Macam tak lawak je!

Ok, let's not talk about funny things because it was not funny. A serious thing comes up suddenly. Days ago, I have seen a scenario, which I guess it was none of my business to say something about it. But as a human being with a heart, my brain told 'something is not right happening in front of eyeballs'. When a person with a family, but suddenly behave like they are not. When they think life is like a balloon, always waiting for people to feed the gas..and hooray I am going to the moon! 

Can you imagine a balloon without the gas, how is it look like? Macam malas kan? Diam terdampar, bila masuk angin baru rajin nak terbang! When you decide to make another step to the next phase of life, please be serious with it! Yes, we need people to help when we need help, but do not simply take a chance on the kindness of others. Your intention... that counts everything. Remember that. 

 Firman Allah swt dalam Surah Az-Zalzalah ayat 99:7-8 maksudnya:

"Barang siapa yang mengerjakan kebaikan seberat zarah pun, niscaya dia akan melihat (balasan) nya. Dan barang siapa yang mengerjakan kejahatan seberat zarah pun, niscaya dia akan melihat (balasan) nya pula."

Ya Allah, I am so scared of your verses. Kifarah is exist folks! Beware. I am imperfect. But my imperfection does not make me an idle brain, just stay quiet as if nothing happens. Please wake up before it is too late to wake up! Allah swt still give us chance and space to change to be a better person, be a better person because of You Ya Rabb...

::: Forever Never.. NO! :::

Assalamualaikum

Ya ALLAH! I did not expect that I still remember my user id and password for the blog. I am sorry for letting you go just like that ... oh my blog, I really miss you but you know, as time goes by, so fast, I have a lot of things to catch up in my life. Zafran, Lydia and Eijaz, they are doing so well, alhamdulillah. And not to forget my love, I love u💖. You are such a ball of sunshine to my life and you got to remember this anywhere you go dear😉

I thought the sky is clearing this morning, but suddenly the raining starts pouring down heavily, all day long and I said "Allahumma Soiyyiban Naafi'a" Aamiin..

I can't pretend that I got nothing to do right now. With a glass of plain water, some butterscotch biscuits made of grandma wilds on the table, suddenly I think of a movie that I recorded last four nights.. o myy.. why I just can't get it out of my head? Me Before You.. oh no!! I am very sure some of you ..or maybe all of you out there have seen this movie or at least heard about the novel. I love Sam Caflin just like I love Will Traynor, can I say this? Hahaha Am I being biased? Heyy I love Louisa Clark too. LOL

I remember back then when I was a Titanic fanatic, been watching it for hundred times as if I did the screenplay scripts..and I went to bed with my head questioning..which character are you in Titanic?! Ya Allah..I am so stupid but this is something I love to do. Of course I am Rose Dewitt Bukater, be able to say this right to the eyes of Jack Dawson "You jump, I jump remember?" LOL Wohh...and I can feel that this is going to be 'historic recurrence' and I am watching Me Before You right now with smiling on my face..gosh it is my 9th times watching Lou and Will!!

After I have done with that 'historic recurrence' things. I got a call from a friend. A close friend of mine. We were chatting until my battery went dead. Fuhh.. nothing much we talked, but it was something incomplete if we didn't talk about movies. Bila la nak insaf kau nakkk? Soonn..:D Ok I am done ramblings. Actually what I have just written, it wasn't all matters to me. Something else.. 

Something that makes my heart broken and shattered into pieces, and I must be very serious on this. I think everyone in the world right now heard about it. I am so sad about the news that usa president intends to declare Jerusalem (BaitulMaqdis) as the capital city of israel. I am feeling devastated and crushed. It brought tears to my eyes and heart. I will never be able to accept this fact forever!! NEVER! NO! Ya ALLAH, Ya Rahman, Ya Rahim, Ya Malik, Ya Quddus, Ya Salam, Ya Jabbar.. please save BaitulMaqdis, please Ya ALLAH...pleasee...Aamiin Ya Robbal 'Alamin..

Allahuakbar!

:: Life is like a dark chocolate ::

Assalamualaikum

Sometimes life is like a dark chocolate, sweet..and yet bitter...Hahaha hihihi huhuhu.  I am little bit crazy over my blogging this time, because finally I have a chance to blog (macam bagus pulak ku rasa phewww). The title for the article today, I just suddenly have thought about it. Well, actually it is up to you to make your life bitter or sweet. Even though you would never know what is coming to you next..,  try to think positive no matter what the taste will be, remember...there is always a reason behind it. Ok, I would try that ...(sambil geleng kepala 10x hahaha)

Being silent, it doesn't mean I am rejecting my routines as a normal person. Normal ke? Hahaha... How to start ramble with my blog after such a long quiet? I think I am gonna share some feelings that I feel when I see someone's face recently. She was so sad over something. How do I tackle this? Because she is just a kid. 6-year-old kid, at this age, kid normally hungered for love and attention not only from their parents but also from people around them, especially relatives, people that they love and trust.

Have you ever experienced when someone around you, playing favorite towards your family members? I think this is the most difficult situation/problem to solve. Because it involves someone's heart...bila hati dah suka! But don't they know this is the most damaging problem in 'society'? When they don't favor you, no matter what you do good to them, you will get the same treatment, unfair treatment...that's the best word to say. As if you are getting cheated in the long run. When this issue being raised up, for sure someone will automatically judge you a kind of person who expects more in return. You are wrong babe! If you are normal, have a brain, have a heart, you won't simply come out with this quote. Can I just say this - You don't walk my journey, so you won't be able to understand the winding road that I am facing.

Then I started to realize, something has come to my senses. I wanna teach my kids to understand the whole story, the whole situation, the whole wide world why the kid is being "slash away" by someone she loves. But it is not easy as you pluck the roses at the beautiful garden and smell it. Eh boleh peribahasa baru aku tu? I wanna tell them, that the world is not the place for you to get whatever you want, whatever you dream of! Because Allah swt created this world for us to worship Him and do the good things. I hope some day they will get it, ok Lydia? I wanna tell you my love is always for you dear. People around you may not understand you, but I do. Semoga Zafran, Lydia and Eijaz sentiasa berada di dalam lindungan Allah swt, aamiin ...

To those who loves practicing favoritism, and pretend not to notice people around who gets hurt by your action or maybe you don't even care about their feelings at all ... I don't simply have a word to say except for - keep on doing that, because one day, at any time in your life... the bouncing ball will bounce back to you! 

"Sikap pilih kasih atau tidak adil dilarang dalam Islam. Nabi Muhammad s.a.w melarang umatnya bersikap pilih kasih atau tidak adil dengan anak-anak. Jadi cubalah ikut sunnah. Ya Allah jangan jadikan aku seorang hambaMu yang pilih kasih dan berlaku tidak adil ke atas anak-anakku, aamiinn..."

::: egoista :::

egoista, you should pronounce it as "ay hoi yista" ha ha ha ha suddenly i use this spanish word to be the title. It means selfish.

I don't care who says what, but the most important thing is, I get what I want. It sounds selfish, but sometimes when we have no choice, we have to choose to be like one.

I see with my two eyes, some people being selfish just because they want to run away from something that burden them. I don't see this normal and yet it becomes normal to them. Ya ALLAH, please don't make me like them, aamiin. I am not perfect, but not in the world I will use the imperfect portion to "slave" someone else. It is ok to seek help, but to "slave".. it will become different story already mahhh...

Sometimes they said, Ooo I have no intention? or didn't mean it? What does it mean, when you started to do it over and over and over again? Is that you called "no intention" or "didn't mean it". Worse than that, after what you did, you feel not guilty at all.

Stop faking and stop being a liar! Whatever we do, please remember this : ALLAH knows what is inside-out of you, He knows your heart and He knows what is in your mind.

Busy with my life with beautiful gifts from Him - Zafran, Lydia and Eijaz. I  have no chance to update my blog past few months because right now Eijaz, he kind of busy with my lappy, so how? Tell me how to solve this?

Lastly - being authentic is not a mistake!