:: The Downbeat ::

Have you ever experienced, when you are so happy with something, suddenly there's something unpredictable happens and it kills your mood immediately?

Sometimes, life is fueled by painful memories, I said sometimes. Recently, I was having a bit downbeat mood because of certain things. I can't give a doleful look on this matter, because I know I was being tested. Redha. Being acceptance is not easy and I know that. But...redha.

There was certain things in life, people..seemed to do such a perfect innocuous remark. They have no intention to offend or upset somebody buttttt.... they did eventually. They did not mean it, but still... they did. Fuhh! Human... they have brain, left and right composition but the way they think of something which is so simple, ... different, very different. You know what, sometimes they just can't differentiate things in front of their eyes, which one is supposed to be appreciated the most. Appreciate, appreciate.. an appreciative smile could be enough tho, and it doesn't cost you a penny. Is it difficult?

"When I bump into this situation, then I got muscular dystrophy suddenly ahaakk"

How come some people suddenly don't even know how to think and react to this situation? I am not saying I am damn good on how to think and react...but one thing for sure I know how to fully utilize my brain (maybe I am not smart but at least  for some other cases I am smarter enough tho), unlike others who claimed they are smart and have a very good title, but then at the end, they are just smart on papers!

One day someone that I know, give me a gloating look and say something not so nice, with only a quick look from me, I could tell at a glance what is that look reallyyyyy for. What should I do then?

"Should I go into convulsion in result to react on this matter? Or should I give my gloating look to her/him back?" 

No, I was just smiling. I was thinking, it was something such a waste, big waste to have interaction with this kind of people. But inside, I was hurt, devastated, to add on : I was apoplectic at the words she/he used. And then there is someone, telling me try to recall something that people has always been good to you, not the opposite. OK, done it! So, I make conclusion that no matter how terrible people do bad things to you, just ignore, and try to remember the good things. But one thing for certain, that does not really apply when it involves with feeling and emotion. I tried to be fair in other way to accept everything that happened in life, it was so called 'asam garam' kehidupan. But I can't be conniving in an injustice situation. Pretending not to notice, will this work? Or stay dressed in camouflage would be better?

When I have been through all of these situation as I live and breathe, as I grow older, one thing that always keep coming back to me now, "do not hunger for human's appreciation, the most important thing is, let ALLAH value and appreciate what you have done good to people". And again, I am not perfect, my heart hurt, my knee is bleeding when I fall, my face streaked by tears when I sad and that's human being.

Ok, I think I have lost track and begin to ramble. So stop the ramblings! By the way, have you ever felt that there was one day in your life, you feel it all has eaten up by regrets? Ok, ok, stop it!