:: La tahzan... ::

Zalina ~ La tahzan... My condolences to you and the rest of the family. I know how you feel at this moment. I feel it. I feel it before and until now it is still.

I burst into tears when i got message from a bosom friend of mine SPL, texting that Zalina's father passed away last Tuesday, it was mid night. I was so emotional, I sat on the couch silently and that time my parents face that first came to mind. How i miss them so much, no one can tell.

Zalina ~ I still taste the pain. I know you taste it too. You have once told me about the intimacy between children and their parents. And i remember i blogged about it. It was in 2005 if i am not mistaken. Because of your words, i changed my perception about the relationship between the parents and the daughter. I didn't feel ashame to hug, to kiss, to hold them... and I remember a week before my father passed away, he came to me and asked me to hold his hands. And i hold it, rubbed it... i should have done it long time ago for many times, every second, every day...i whispered to myself that time. Turned out it was the last time i was able to hold his hands.

Zalina ~ Again, La tahzan, don't be sad... ingat ALLAH each second of our life because we belong to Him. If He wanted something to happen, then it happens. Kita sebagai hambaNya kena redha.

Al Fatihah untuk arwah Abah, Mak and Ayah Ngah.

:: Just Because.... ::

Just because someone is repenting for his/her mistake, it doesn't change the past
Just because someone is weeping on his/her wrongdoing, it doesn't change the past
Just because someone is asking for an apology, still... it doesn't change the past

Yes... it doesn't change the past at all. It is like it's being fine tuned in the mind, buried in the heart. A gigantic pain in the soul, an inexplicably poignant feeling inside. It's all about the past that changed some people's life. Actually the past, something i would say it is uneconomic matters that we must drop it out from the budget breakdown. But it is uneasy like sipping a cup of delicious coffee from Coffee Bean though! In fact, i sometimes feel, it's getting worse when it started dwells inside you.

I was trapped in this situation before, but i managed to get away of it 95%. And turned out, it wasn't easy to totally kill the past. At first, I found that it was extremely challenging and second why bother, though? why bother to get your head spinning around just to think of the past? I didn't know... it was just came to me everytime when i try to vanish it. From thereon, i learned that - do not mess with someone especially when it involves with emotion. Because when someone gets hurt, it will change someone's life completely. After what happened, it won't bring back the happiness in total, like it used to be. It is sad, huh?!

In the past almost dozen years, i witnessed some people just in tend to so easy hurting and blaming other people for something that small matters. I don't know why is this happened? I am not saying that i am an angel who doesn't have sins at all but i try to be a better person. I don't know why is that some people who doesn't know how to play guitar at all, then they just play it and they seem ignoring people around them who couldn't bear the twanging anymore. And they keep on playing... ? It is pitiful, huh?!

I am not nagging type person, play discreet it doesn't mean i agree. Answering back to all the words that being blown to me is also not my type. Giving in...? Yes, i am this type. Giving in for something that i believe will take me to another step close to heaven. And still it doesn't mean that i am the loser. Giving in for someone we love so much, it is big sacrifice and again i believe we have nothing to lose by doing this. No point arguing..., the bickering thing has to stop! To stop everything, we have to give in.

Just because to see the happiness keep on showering in our life, FORGET the past!

... forgive them, and forget everything the bad things they did to you. Although it is unforgettable, it is difficult, that's the test. Do more good things in your life, let your past full with good deeds. So it won't haunt you back in the future.